Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
