No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
did i walk over a car last night?
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
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