Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
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