Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize