the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
How many fucks given?
0.12846
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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