Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
and you fell through a lawn chair
You've changed since you got that strap on
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
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