By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
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