Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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