guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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