I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Randomize
