Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
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