How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
there's paper in my vomit.
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
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