Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
