i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
We need to get me chipped asap
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
Randomize
