like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Randomize
