end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
Randomize
