Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
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