There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
