Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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