The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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