I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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