My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
Randomize
