That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Randomize
