She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Randomize
