i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
