Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
Life is so much better after having sex.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
Two ladies just showed up with my fucking purse. It was in the fucking street. I'm a train wreck. As a financial advisor, this shouldn't happen. I should be an adult.
I have bruises all over my body. Seriously, I'm a train wreck. I'm too damn old for hangovers like this.
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
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