I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
