question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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