A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
Randomize
