even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
this will be a night to untag.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Randomize
