Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Randomize
