I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
