the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Randomize
