Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
Randomize
