doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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