You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
Randomize
