She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
he fucked my hip out of place.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
Randomize
