Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
I lost the right to judge tonight
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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