Can Purell be used as lube?
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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