So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Randomize
