ya dads aren't the best wingmen
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
Boobs speak an international language.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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