My liver just broke up with me...
I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
so let's talk penis.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Randomize
