You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
Omg I joined a choir last night...
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