ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
