I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
I'm going to write a letter. It's going to say, Dear Every Girl Ever: Take some goddam initiative and wake me up with a blowjob and I will eat out of your hand. Love, Every Guy Ever
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
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