make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
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