I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
