I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
Randomize
