Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Randomize
