we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
Randomize
