Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
Randomize
