The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
Sacagawea was the original milf.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
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