Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Randomize
